dallard

THE OPPOSITE OF NEGATIVE IS POSITIVE AND IT’S ALWAYS A CHOICE

My wonderful husband made many trips out to sea during his twenty years in the Navy. When our children were in grade school, he would frequently receive orders to a duty station across the country—sometimes even mid school year. We were a family determined to stay together, so we always packed-up and joined him.

Quite often, my poor bummed-out hubby would have to ship out to sea a few days after our arrival. Our destinations included Seattle, Washington; Virginia Beach, Virginia; Key West, Florida; Millington, Tennessee; Belle Chase, Louisiana; San Diego, California; Mare Island, California; Coronado, California; Great Lakes, Illinois; Mayport, Florida; and Lexington Park, Maryland. Most often the children and I were stranded in a new, completely strange-looking city without family or friends–nothing but a map to guide our way.

But there are two ways to look at any situation. I like to find the joy or humor hidden in every circumstance. So, I would ask the kids, “Are you ready for a new adventure?” My excitement would bubble over into their little hearts. They would get wide-eyed with enthusiasm.

I’d spread brochures from visitor’s centers across the carpet, and we’d sprawl across the floor inspecting sites to visit and things to do. I never wanted the kids to be fearful or depressed about moving. I suppose I could have been fearful, not knowing anyone in a strange city, but I always knew God was with us, leading, guiding, and protecting. All I had to do was remember to ask Him for help. God always came through for us. I felt worse for my husband who was required to report to a ship full of gruff, irritable men who likewise didn’t want to leave their families. Imagine living on a metal ship wallpapered with testosterone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Not only could tempers flare, but fumes would overwhelm.

In my earnest desire to make my hubby’s sea time a little more tolerable, I started a tradition of writing love notes and tucking them inside his folded clothes—shirts, pants, underwear, each sock, tee shirts, etc–before rolling them up and tamping them down into his duffle bag (the Navy man’s equivalent of a suitcase).

The notes were inspirational, loving, and laced with humor. Brian said he looked forward to getting dressed every day. The notes kept him smiling.

Well, I wanted my children to feel good about attending new schools, as well, so I hid love notes in their lunch boxes–between the bread in sandwiches, between cookies, wrapped around juice boxes, or inside thermos caps, etc. I even drew goofy pictures on their napkins. My kids would return from school, laughing every day.

The best thing was that other kids would ask them why they were laughing. When they shared their notes, they made new friends.

Love notes are great to send anytime people need cheering.

Finding a good church wherever we went helped tremendously, as well. Through Sunday School classes, we met new friends. We were never alone for long. I would invite mothers with children over for lunch. We’d chit chat while our children played. I also connected with the wives of the other sailors on my husband’s ship. We encouraged and supported one another.

So, at every new duty station, we immediately had to make friends. We learned new cultures, new foods, and new ways of doing things completely different from the way things were done in the last area of the country—who would have guessed that Americans are unique in different cities.

But through it all, we were resilient and learned how to make friends quickly—one of the bonuses of our lovely, sometimes crazy, but always fun adventures.

My question is—how do you view challenges in life? Do you look for positives or dwell on the negatives?

Try writing some love notes and surprise the ones you love. You might receive a surprise yourself.