Marriage is Not 50/50
Have you heard the saying about marriage being 50/50? Did you agree? So did I until I read today’s guest post. It might change your mind too.
Sara Turnquist is a writer and an accomplished speaker on everyday struggles in the twenty-first century, but her novels showcase love and hardship throughout the ages. Today, she shares her nuggets of wisdom about marriage.
Sara Turnquist, Author: Marriage is Not 50/50
This last weekend, my husband and I attended the wedding of my sweet younger cousin. She was beautiful…everything was. But as the officiant was sharing about the adventure (and journey) that is marriage, I started thinking about some of the nuggets I’ve learned in my fourteen years of wedded bliss.
My husband is the most patient, servant-hearted, supportive person I know. And while that certainly makes for an easier marriage, no relationship is perfect. We fight, we have disagreements…but we also continue to get asked if we are newlyweds even after so long together. While I want to say that our relationship is special, unique even…and to some extent that may be true, it is this way because we have a firm foundation in God and have made some wise choices.
Something that we learned early on…and carried with us to this day…is that the whole “marriage is 50/50” idea is wrong. While well-meaning, this advice does not hold up. My husband and I have come to believe that marriage is 100/100. And while that math doesn’t work out, the concept is sound. If you’re only giving 50% to your marriage and waiting for the other person to put in their 50% for things to work, you will be one frustrated spouse.
There will be times when your other half needs you to carry the load…and vice versa. Apart from that, it’s just not how God has designed marriage. The Bible tells us that the union between a husband and wife is a picture of Christ and the church, of God and His people. And He shows us repeatedly in Scripture that He pursues us regardless of what we (or His people Israel) do or do not do. God was true to His word and His covenant with Israel despite the fact that they became idolators over and over.
Keeping that in mind, a marriage works best when my decision to love my spouse (and vice versa) happens because I have made that commitment…no matter how the other person responds. Now, I’m not advocating for anyone to stay in a relationship in which the other person is abusive or mean or neglectful. I have found, however, that when my husband and I strive to love each other and give everything to the commitment we made so many years ago, empowered by God with the ability to do so, we have something solid. In the end, marriage is not just about being happy, it’s also about becoming more Christlike.
So I encourage you to think about this and lean into that commitment even when it feels as if you are the only one. Try it and see if you aren’t more at peace in the relationship.
Thank you, Sara. I wholeheartedly agree!. Please let Sara know what you think by commenting below.
AUTHOR BIO & LINKS:
Sara is a coffee lovin’, word slinging, clean Historical Romance author whose super power is converting caffeine into novels. She loves those odd little tidbits of history that are stranger than fiction. That’s what inspires her. Well, that and a good love story.
But of all the love stories she knows, hers is her favorite. She lives happily with her own Prince Charming and their gaggle of minions. Three to be exact. They sure know how to distract a writer! But, alas, the stories must be written, even if it must happen in the wee hours of the morning.
Sara also enjoys reading clean Historical Romance when she’s not traveling. Her books range from the Czech lands to the American Wild West and from ancient Egypt to the early 1900s. Some of her titles include The Lady Bornekova, Hope in Cripple Creek, The General’s Wife, Trail of Fears, and the Convenient Risk Series.
BOOK BLURB:
He never imagined her heart would be so hard to reach.
Forced into a marriage of convenience after her husband dies, Amanda Haynes is determined she will never love again. Not that it bothers Brandon Miller. He needs her husband’s cattle. She needs financial stability and long-term support for her son and herself. But she never expected to care so much about the running of the ranch.
Butting heads over the decisions of the ranch adds frustration and grief to her loss. Her wellbeing is soon threatened as their lives become entangled with Billy the Kid and his gang.
What has she gotten herself into? What kind of man has she married? Is there any way out?
BUY LINK: https://www.amazon.com/Convenient-Risk-Book-ebook/dp/B071F96624/
Sara’s Links:
Website: http://saraturnquist.com/
Twitter: @sarat1701 https://twitter.com/sarat1701
Facebook Author Page: @authorsararturnquist
https://www.facebook.com/authorsararturnquist/
Instagram: @sarat0103 https://www.instagram.com/sarat0103/
Pinterest: @saravturnquist
YouTube: Sara R. Turnquist https://bit.ly/sara-youtube
